How to Make Your Kitchen Explode

by John Davis Jr.

The day our kitchen blew up, the whole neighborhood had to stop by and ask questions. They ranged from the ignorant, like, "Was there an explosion?" to the inquisitive: "What happened over here?" Either way, my mother was as polite as she could be, then she casually escorted curiosity-seekers back down our driveway.

My mom was a very experienced cook, and she owned a thick metal hand-me-down pressure cooker, which once was her grandmother's. The rubber seal, which sat firmly between the lid and the pot of the cooker, had seen its better days, however. It was starting to crack and peel in places, though it still largely remained intact.

Being a kitchen veteran, my mother had pressured everything from poultry to beef, starches to vegetables. And that day, the meal order was green beans, otherwise known as pole beans. We were, after all, a good southern family, and what would Sunday dinner be without green beans?

She had placed all the essential ingredients into the pot: beans, water, flavoring. Securing the lid tightly, she then turned on the gas stove beneath the pressure cooker, and when the time came, she placed the contraption's "jiggler" on its top.

The pressure cooker went happily about its business for a few minutes, spitting occasional sprays and puffs of steam. And then, our green beans detonated. The resounding blast could be heard for blocks, and the entire contents of the pot blew from stove to ceiling, and wall to wall in our kitchen.

Looking upward, my mother saw beans hanging from the air conditioning vents, among other places. "Well," she stated calmly, "I guess that takes care of that, then."

After cleaning was completed, we had fast food that night. No one was injured, thankfully, but despite her placid demeanor, my mom was more than a little rattled by the incident. Since that day, she has remained fanatical about her pressure cooker gaskets -- cleaning them, storing them, and generally ensuring that we never have another cookware bomb go off in the house again.

To this day, every time I see a pressure cooker, all I can mentally picture is those limp, sad, pole beans dangling and dripping out of our kitchen ceiling's air vents. One explosion changes one's perception forever.

Those of you who are pressure cooking today, heed a quick word of advice: the newer models are nearly fail-safe, but make sure you check your gasket or seal. After all, who knows? It could be your house blowing food sky-high tomorrow. Good cooking, and good luck...

About the Author

Secondary school teacher, husband, and father of two boys, John Davis Jr. is also an award-winning Florida poet. See his website at www.floridapoet.com.

 

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